When I lost my weight on Lighterlife I spent over a year thinking about my relationship to food and working out how I would need to change it if I were to keep the weight off. Four years later I have kept weight off – but at the moment it’s more of a struggle than I think it’s ever been. And sadly, I can see some of my old food habits returning far to fast for my liking, even after all this time. So why is it that it can be so hard to change our habits with food?
I honestly believe that the answer to keeping weight off is to work out what our own particular issues are with food and then to ways to manage based on our own lives, like and dislikes etc. For four years I’ve been able to do this, keeping my weight within a stone or so of my ideal size and basically staying a size 10.
But there’s been 2 occasions when I’ve gone beyond a size 10; when I’ve had two unsuccessful pregnancies. The first was the catalyst for me developing my 21 Keys to Keeping Weight Off. After the miscarriage I started eating differently to how I’d eaten ever since losing weight, and I realised just how many changes I’d made. But after the stress of the miscarriage I was back to old habits really quickly.
This summer the same has happened and I’ve had another unsuccessful pregnancy and miscarriage. This time it’s been harder for me and my husband to cope with as many other things in our lives have not been going our way of late. So we have made a momentous decision to go travelling round the world for up to a year. We go in less than 2 weeks. At the moment we are trying to sort out renting out the house, packing up all our stuff, saying goodbye to all our mates and family. We have no idea what the future holds.
Bloody hell – we are super stressed! And guess what – I cant stop eating!
This, despite me not having lost my pregnancy/post pregnancy extra weight and having gone up a dress size and feeling terrible about how I look. I can’t keep to any diet and I’m madly veering from binging days through to fasting days. So it seems when the pressure is on, even after all this time, I’m returning to form and old habits have kicked in.
I’ve always said it’s inevitable that at times you put on weight; the question is how much you allow yourself to put on. I don’t want to be any bigger than I am now but I just don’t seem to be able to sort it out at the moment
Maybe that’s what happens at times for all of us who have ever had a weight problem – when life is tricky we go back to old habits. However I do know I can’t continue like this and I know once we go traveling I will be more active and so will start to get this under control. Maybe this is just part of understanding how I am with food and knowing myself. After all, after the first pregnancy I lost the weight again when the time was right, so I know I can do it again when the time is right. And in the meantime, I’m making sure I’m not putting on any more weight.
The thing is that we all get to know ourselves and to work out what our own tolerance levels are and when we feel able to do things about it. And to trust that we can and will. And of course, to have our own point at which we say to ourselves – STOP!!!
I’ll be keeping people up to date on here and also on our new travel blog – www.middle-aged-spread.com – tales of mid life crisis travel, people and food (whilst not getting fat!).